☣ ♥ u, @MarlboroPozPig marlboropedopozpig: SMOKER… FUCKER… #BBBH
@MarlboroPozPig #BBBH marlboropedopozpig: Slamming Smoking and Hoping…(for a smoke pig poz fuck session…and I got later that tweak-end but better…my first fuck by AIDS-dick & pig-rigging using his dirty points, mixing his diseased blood in my slams)
☣ ♥ “What You See Is What You Get” #BBBH More on my picasa “Barebackers having fun” http://goo.gl/SFFgQ
So about me: time to give. ☣ ♥ “What You See Is What You Get” #BBBH More on my picasa “Barebackers having fun” http://goo.gl/SFFgQ
Legitimate question: actually, I can be - say - some 90% sure. But I have good reasons to think so, because:
- In those years I used to keep tested regularily at least every 3 months, when not monthly, since I was aware of the risks of my behaviour: and I was still non-poz, at that time;
- For reasons independent from my will, in the couple of months preceding that fuck, I had had NO sex at all, excepted J/O;
- I was aware that guy (friend of mine for a decade and suddenly, unpredictably, my BF for one month) was already in full blown aids;
- For the same reasons above, that date was really a date to celebrate, since we met at last after so long, and therefore was signed in my agenda;
- I had what I afterwards discovered as “the fuck” flu in perfect canonical time some 4 weeks after: that is in July - surely not a typical time to get a flu.
Call me romantic, but I’m not smuggling this as a scientifical evidence: yet we use to say that “three clues make an evidence”: and here my clues seem to be more than 3 :)
Hey fukka, best wishes! I’ve followed your suggestion, but I don’t like twitter. hope this will work. PS: Just wondering how can you know the exact day?
aidsfukka:#BBBH June 23rd 1989: got THAT ☣LOAD☣ ♥. Cheers, dudes: today is my 22nd HIV-BBirthday.
Need2Breed asked to translate this post of mine originally in Italian: here’s my reply.
Original post: http://aidsfukka.tumblr.com/post/5307414711/ciao-bello-na-vita-che-nn-ti-sento-toh-chi
This is an old post of mine in response to a question received via Formspring: “If you were to give three tips to a young bug chaser looking foward to joining “the “club”, what would you tell him?”
Saturday, January 23, 2010:
Q: First of all compliments. Since I’ve learned that there are other people like me, and thanks to you too, I feel less alone. A classic question. If you were to give three tips to a young bug chaser looking foward to joining “the “club”, what would you tell him?
A: (thanks, but compliments for what?).
Fabrizio De André sang that people “give good advice when they can not give bad example any longer” - LOL - and I plan to keep giving bad examples again and again :D.
However, you ask for 3, and I’ll try to give you 3.
I can’t really say I’ve ever been a true “bug-chaser”: in those days of the early “pre-condom” 80ies such a concept simply did not exist (for syphilis, maybe? Could be .. but I swear that I never found no one who was eager to undergo a full cycle of injections of penicillin. Weird uh?)
Simply put, my position was and still is: “do I think I’m immortal? No.” “Am I supposed to live only 1 life? Yes.” “Am I more interested in living well, or dying well preserved? The former you said.” “And what about a little compromise, perhaps? Ugh. Stick your compromise up your ass.”.
But back to your due 3 tips - call me Jiminy Cricket, if you like.
# 1 Understand if your bug-chasing thing is a fantasy, a dream, something thrilling you but destined to remain in the drawer - or a real need of yours to belong to a clan, flock, “club” whatever it is. Or better: not-so-whatsoever: just THIS.
In other words, the first advice is: “Understand what you are looking for.”
a) In the former case, congratulations for your dream: If you dream, you can as well aim high, can’t you?
Suggestion: “SWEET DREAMS, honey”
b) In the latter case, and assuming that especially at a young age belonging to a herd is a need, I think it would be worthwhile to understand why choosing such a special, no return membership, among so many other available.
Note: far from me bringing out now all the trinkets about low self-esteem, desire of self-destruction, death-drive and so on: “BULLSHIT”.
For that purpose, the exhaust pipe works much better and faster.
What I mean is that this thing of beautiful-and-damned - whilst it may be - is definitely an archetype, but especially in the case of the HIVPOZ-whore seems to me it’s a new social phenomenon.
It’s mediatic. It moves its steps across both ends of your router. It’s even “Fashion”, still in its being so anti-fashion, if u get what I mean. And as such, undoubtfully, positively “trash”.
And after all, pay attention to the Twilight saga, and go way down the hill: these fukkin vampires are not only back with a vengeance: but they’re also OMG-soo-cool, “phat!” …
After all, you’re not going to turn into a vampire, are you? But the difference is you can serovonvert, though.
Conclusion: Not spitting wisdom pills about trash, fashion etc: I’ve been asked for a second hint, and my second hint is: “Understand WHY you’re looking for this”.
Check out your info from as many direct sources as possible, about the various meanings of seroconversion, and its many practical consequences: physical, psychological, social and so on.
There are lots of institutional voices out there, and some of them are even honest, unbiased and reliable.
what is maybe harder to find - and filter - are the direct stories of common people directly involved in living with HIV/AIDS. Even mine, though relatively “exposed”, clear and honest, it is still necessarily a mediated transposition, and potentially biased by : a) my subjective feeling, the source, b) the web, as a medium, c) your subjective perception, at the end of the path.
And above all, this communication is flawed and imperfect a priori, since it’s missing a key element, fundamental in any successful communication: the FEEDBACK.
Enough to think upon, IMHO.
So, my third suggestion is: “be aware of what you are looking for, but above all of what you are going to find.”: nothing could be more different.
… Ok, I admit, I cheated: I’ve smuggled THREE tips for what in reality is only one: “UNDERSTAND”.
But if you know me a little bit, you already knew what my answer would have been.
Hope you didn’t expect a “Noooo, u fool!”, nor a “Wow, new meat on the spit”.
Actually, my only real key to understanding sex and any other aspect of life such as the boundaries between good and evil etc etc is just that: UNDERSTANDING.
…SHIT, mate. Couldn’t you just ask to fuck me - for example??? LOL. Thank you.
(some compliments follow in my friend’s re-reply - here omitted. Worth to quote what follows, though)
“I agree about awareness, consequences and causes.
My awareness is fairly acquired: I’m informed about the many changes that may happen, and about my reasons, it’s simple: I love to have my ass filled with cum, and to feel my spunk filling my buddies asses.
In addition, fucking with positive guys turns me on so much. As far as what lies behind this, I’ve not investigated the irrational - nor I care to do it right now”
Links:
- “THE GIFT - movie - APPROVED DOCUMENTS OF HIV INFECTION The Phenomenon”: http://www.documen.tv/asset/The_Gift.html
- ‘Bug chasers: Wanting to contract AIDS - Some speak of gay men who actively seek to contract the HIV virus. Others say there’s no such thing. Caryn Rousseau troublesome untangles the Web. ” http://asap.ap.org/stories / 644566.s
☣ ♥ My nasty buddy Kalikat on http://bnskin.com/KALIKAT
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